Thirst

Maybe this'll give you some insight into understanding why that guy might be saying women need to move on out of the Stone Age. I think many Christians have not learned to really trust God, and as a result, they are still operating in fear. Fear of the world and its powers is irrational when you've had a transforming encounter with the power of the omnipotent God. Fear of rejection, fear of relationships, fear of other people, fear of exposure-- these are all fears Christians can experience. What I've seen at Wheaton is that many guys are insecure and fearful of rejection, and they psych themselves out of relationships. The girls have a part to play in that some give the impression that they couldn't care less about relationships, which doesn't help a guy's confidence. It's a difficult thing to expose your heart and lay yourself out on the table for someone else to (possibly) shoot you down. The problem, again, is fear.

Where does this fear come from? I think what I've realized in myself is that if I don't know that God loves me, my identity is lost. Who I am can only be found in discovering who I am created to be-- in Christ. And if I am not living in that reality, my identity becomes tied up in temporal things, to my destruction. Thus, if a guy's identity is not centered in God, it is easy for him to feel like he has to protect himself. If someone rejected him, it would confirm his sneaking suspicion that he is not worth loving, not even a person. If I know I am loved by God, I don't have to go around and try to prove to others that I am lovable. I don't have to justify myself to them, because they do not control my identity. I can live in freedom from others' opinions, and I can live for an Audience of One.

Perhaps that guy who said that is just fearful that if he bared his heart to a girl and she rejected him, his identity would be lost. There is nothing outside of God's love that will ever make you feel secure enough to overcome the fear of rejection, and that's that. Let me end please by directing your attention higher. It's great to discuss issues like this, but if they don't end in worshipping God, it's unfruitful.

I praise You, Father, because from You no secrets are hidden. You have searched our hearts and You know us. You know everything about us, and You still love us. You know that are hearts are deceitfully wicked above all things, and You still love us. Your power is greater than any power, whether physical or spiritual- You alone are God, and there is none like You.