My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. Where can I go and meet with God?
(Ps. 42:2)
Hiya everybody-- here's an article I wrote, thought you might like to read it- later for now...
With disgust I throw aside the covers of my bed and creep downstairs in my underwear to start up my little Toshiba laptop. Why in the world can't I fall asleep? I shove the cord into its socket and push the silver power button, and as I wait for the black desktop and icons to appear on-screen, my eyes stare a hole through the table. I am a jumble of tired restlessness, and the table disappears as thoughts wander aimlessly through my mind.
It's 12:40am here in New York, but my computer still thinks it's back at college in Chicago. I really should set the clock ahead an hour, but who has time for such things? My fingernails are a bit long as well, but again, what does it matter? I'll cut them when they start getting in the way. All that matters right now is getting some sleep.
So why has God made my bed hard and uncomfortable, my blanket flimsy and distracting, and my muscles tight and anxious? What is it I so desperately need to hear that can't wait til morning? My head tilts back and comes to rest on the wall behind me as my eyes close and I begin to slow my breathing.
My fingers rest easily on the keys in calm expectation.
Speak, Lord, your son is listening.
A pause, then tender words begin to flow.
Benjamin, I love you, and I wanted you to know. That's what couldn't wait til morning. I couldn't let you fall asleep without knowing that it is my arms and not your mattress you relax into. It's not a pillow that you rest your head upon; it is my chest. It is not a blanket that covers you, but my Love. Release yourself to Me. Stop struggling and surrender. Give Me your cares and fears. You've held your head high, chin up and face to the wind, but now I want to take control. You've fought mightily, now collapse into my arms and let me win the battle for you. Come into My secret place and rest under the shadow of My wings.
A crystal silence follows as my body relaxes and my spirit begins to breathe again. A sigh of surrender escapes my lips as warm liquid peace washes the dust of the world from my feet.
At night His song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life... (Ps. 42:8)