Thirst

Johnny, thanks for the sharing-- it really keeps me burning if you know what i mean- when i hear truth it's like i get excited not just in an emotional way, but in a spiritual way, and it strengthens me and fires me up, it's like food, you know? Awesome stuff- keep it coming-

i just wanted to say first of all, yeah, where's holly, but also where's shannon?? And Ben roberts just joined a few weeks ago-- why haven't we heard from you boy? hahaha-- But God is good, my sister ariel is coming to 40 Days, which is going to be sweet--

Man THERE'S SO MUCH WE'RE MISSING OUT ON, i sincerely hope that God keeps giving me MORE and MORE- i absolutely HATE doing church normally, if you know what i'm saying, and doing christianity that way also- it takes so much out of me, just kind of saps me until i'm just like this little pathetic deflated balloon dragging along on the floor-- it's sick. I long for that continuous spiritual strength that comes from constant fellowship with the Spirit and with spiritual people in the Spirit-- people that don't care to try to impress me with who they are or their credentials, knowledge or spirituality, but people that impress me with the AWESOMENESS of God! Oh, God, PLEASE give me that grace this summer in England- I can't live without You...

Guys please pray, I know that God has so much more for me and for the people that will be over in England this summer, much more than we've ever dreamed of, but I don't quite know what- all I know to do is to trust, something that outside of the grace of God I fail miserably at doing. I want to be "sensitive" to peoples' situations, but so many times like John said, it seems that instead of wanting to get free, they just want to complain about it to get sympathy-- there's absolutely no way to reach someone like that, and in fact, even fellowshiping with them is a drain on me, they're like leeches after any spiritual experience they can find, no matter where they can find it, just as long as it doesn't require any actual life or heart change from them-- God give me the grace to love people wherever they're at, to love them the way You love them...

I know it just kind of seems like i'm rambling and incoherent and whatever, but it's only because I recognize in myself two states that i've been operating in lately, basically because I've been acting really immature spiritually-- on one end, i'm just complacent and i blame it on my environment-- on the other end, i'm sick of complacency and I'm judgmental of those around me for their complacency-- God, so fill me with You that nothing will sway me except for the affections of Your heart.